Letter to my soldier...

Eric~ 20June2011
Hi. Well it’s almost here, the end of this long deployment. Of all the times I thought “how will I feel when he comes home?” or “wonder what I’m gonna want to say in that last letter” I never really knew what I know now, in this moment. Right now I am simply proud. Proud of all you have accomplished while doing what you do; all the stuff you think goes unnoticed. It’s amazing to me that you can live so far away, yet still be “dad”… it never occurred to the girls to get me something for father’s day this year (on your suggestion when asked what you would like) because, though you are away, you remain connected to their daily lives. I don’t know of one dad who sat through their child’s (both of ‘em) first teacher conference via the telephone from Iraq. You did. I noticed, the teachers noticed, and most of all the girls noticed. Your ability to maintain the “norms” we have set for our household was a necessity during the few times I felt I needed you as a vocal accomplice. It meant so much that, even from afar, you helped to enforce the discipline. I know that must have been rough; when all you wanted was to spoil these three little ladies. Your patience on Skype with Abbi was perhaps the most endearing of times to me. She would just sit there and look at you and talk to you all day if I would have let her… I grew annoyed, you remained patient. Do you remember? I would put her off my lap only to have her climb back up and loudly express her anger at me for making her get down… those little moments will forever live in my heart as I know as the years go on and she grows, so will those moments. We’ve seen it with the big girls; just wanting to quickly say hi and then scoot off to continue whatever it is they were doing.

Today, at the coming home ceremony for 4 BDE, 1-76, I was the most proud of you that I have ever been. When a spouse is sought out to be told of the impact her soldier has made on a unit’s deployment it is the most amazing feeling ever. That happened today… I will keep the details to share with you privately, but I was so very proud. I know there are so many times I fuss at you about this life, but I hope you know I love it. I would never trade one day of it for any in our past.

In a few short days you will board that plane and we will have our moment. It’s the moment we have waited for since that July morning I said goodbye. I have prepared for it since you walked onto that bus. Now that it is here, I can’t seem to get anything done to prepare. After hearing that “damn announcer guy” (whom I now know as Jeff, by the way) for so long, cursing him and hating him, I am ready for it to be our turn. I will scream loud enough to “wake up Fort Stewart”…

“If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’m not gonna let you down. Darling, wait and see. And between now and then, until I see you again… I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”

~Nikki

This Every Day Life.....

Wow! As I write this entry, we are looking at just little bit left of being what I like to term “dadless”. It has been a long year for sure, but through it all, we have experienced tremendous growth. When I think back, sometimes it is easy to see only the negative things that have occured, but thinking it through, there are so many positives....

I will never diss this Army Life...NEVER! It has afforded me some wonderful opportunities most will never have the gift of getting. I get to stay home with my wonderful little ladies and truly get to experience each and every one of their personalities without the worries of a true “single Parent”. I think they will all agree when I say we have had our challenges, but through it all, we have grown in love with one another along the journey!

My husband is a hero.... that alone takes my breath away. I think every one is a hero in their own right, but mine should be on a long list kept under lock and key of “true heros”. Eric walked away from me 11 months ago knowing that there would be days he would just want to give up and hug his family. Through it all, he has remained resilient, diligent and assertive in his position “over there”. Are there days he wanted to reach through the phone and shake me? I am very certain there were... and vice versa. All those times I told him he was calling at an inopportune time were probably the icing on his cake, I’m sure. But you know what, we got through them in tact. And yet, at the end of the day, I hope he knows as crazy as life can get here at home, he will forever be our hero.

I DID IT! For the second time in as many years, I feel so proud to say I did it! I’m alive, the kids are alive (worn out, I’m sure, but alive just the same), and the animals are all alive. Take a big breath now... it’s almost over.

Hero's at Home...

For all of you who have not read my blog for a long time now; this one is an oldie but a goodie. In light of recent events in Tampa, I thought I would post this again. I can't tell you why or I would have to kill you. Haha, just kidding... my bestie was one of the agents that brought down that maniac! thank God for people who are always on duty even when we are all oblivious to certain situations ;) I thank you guys for all you do every day!!!!!

I think most of you know by now that I am the wife of an American Hero… a Soldier. What most of you do not know is that I am the niece, cousin, daughter, granddaughter and best friend of equal men and women. While many from my family and friends were Soldiers also, they now stand ready to serve here on the home front. They have wives, husbands and children… their lives are in danger daily; they sacrifice so we can sleep safely in our beds. While our Soldiers are serving heroically globally, these men and women serve on the sometimes angry streets of America. I am as equally proud of them as I am my very own hero.

As America struggles to stand firmly on it’s own proverbial feet economically, the most desperate of people act out. Some will chalk it up to a “War on Cops”; maybe, but I’m not buying it. When the economy crashes, people go just a little crazy- but that’s a whole other story. Still, the facts remain that, in 2011 alone, 26 Police Officers have been killed in the line of duty; it’s only February. Their families, like us, worry. They watch them walk out the door fearing they may never walk back in. We need to support them. Our soldiers leave one grueling, earth shattering time for their tour of duty; theirs leave daily.

Don’t get me wrong, I know what’s it’s like to watch my soldier leave. To have to explain to our children why his side of the bed remains made for the most part. Why I set his place at our table, even though he’s not going to be joining us. I’m not going to compare a year-long deployment with a 40 hour work week. I just want to create awareness. I recently heard the wife of a Police officer, and a school teacher herself describe how her hero flashed his cruiser lights every day before leaving for work for his small children. The day he was murdered, he ran them for an uncommonly long time. He did that every day… how does she now explain that they will never see those lights flash in their drive way again? No, there is no comparison, but there are so many similarities. The fear must be very close to the same…

As an Army wife, I have been so honored and privileged with the support that we are given by the people and the government of the great U.S.A! There will never be enough words to express what it means that, for the most part, the nation has my back. But, it’s time for us to give back. We need to empower our sisters and brothers in arms. Let them know that we are here for them and that we support them. We know the fear they feel each day as they watch their hero leave for their “tour of duty” on the mean streets of America. We appreciate their sacrifice. Ultimately, we get it…we really do.

So, to my cousins who serve on the mean streets of Detroit (these guys were Soldiers first), my father (also a soldier first) who served before them, my best friends who serve in our Federal Law Enforcement Community, and all of my friends serving as Police Officers in New York and Florida THANK YOU! You keep me safe when my hero keeps our Nation safe. Your family makes the sacrifice daily… I SUPPORT them fearlessly and I THANK them!

The Closer We Get.....

It has taken a very looong time to get to this point. In two more months the Price Charming of the Ackles Family will be reunited with his Princesses....and they cannot wait. Neither can I for that matter. The girls are my hero's, Eric is too, but really when I sit back and think about the things that must go through their tiny brains; the worry, not knowing, fear of the unknown- I am so proud of them.

Has it been a looong half a year? ABSOLUTELY! Have the girls had their fair share of terrible days? ABSOLUTELY! Has mom gone a little off the deep end? Probably a few times.... but through it all, we have nearly conquered this thing. I can't imagine what it is like for a 10, 7 and 3 year old to have to miss daddy...a year is a huge chunk of time at that age. Remember how long a school year took... forever.

As the months are winding down to our R and R, the house is filled with anticipation of fun days, exciting memories and even the dreaded day when we will once again say goodbye...it's all worth it. It is in these emotional moments that I get to see what we have made these amazing girls into; they have some unbelievable grit, all military kids do. It really is unbelievable; just no other word for it.

Pray for us; God knows we will need it! Saying goodbye is rough, but getting those brief moments to say hello again make it all worth it.

Too Long Gone!

Finally, the bug for blogging has finally stung me once again! We are six months through this dreaded “D” and time has begun to rapidly pass once again…Thank goodness! Most of the soldiers from 3rd ID have returned to work and Ft Stewart is once again filled with people, traffic and activity. I must say that it is a little odd to me to go to the Commissary, just to find they are out of just about EVERYTHING I need; as are all of the other major grocery stores in the area. I guess even the Commissary must adjust to expanding by 100%! All is okay though, I just drive to my nearest Publix (which, consequently, is about 30 minutes away) and all is good again~ I love Publix! To top it all off, we are well within our R and R countdown!

With each New Year come many new opportunities for us all, and I am proud that Army Wife Network has afforded me the opportunity to grow with them. I am now heading up the News 6 department as well as taking on the revamping of the Post With the Most Segment. There will definitely be some quirks, and I definitely have a ton of learning to do, but I think this is going to be a very good thing for us all! Please bear with me as I try to find my niche, and tweak these to my personality. If any of you find anything at all lacking, please contact me and I will try my best to solve the issue.

All of that said; our very first Post With the Most for 2011 is Fort Bliss, Texas! Army wife Network’s Mandy has done most of the leg work on this one, but I am totally trying to find a fun way to get you guys all of the awesome information about this beautiful installation. I can tell you all from experience that Fort Bliss is “an experience”…. Crazy at first, but then you slowly conform to the way of life in the American Southwest, and it is truly a majestic place to be. I miss my time spent at Fort Bliss; after all, how many Army installations allow you to be within twenty minutes to 4 Targets? That’s right the shopping is GREAT in El Paso, but so are the new and amazing amenities at Fort Bliss! So, stay tuned!!!